It is no secret that different sensations can turn us on, even if they are traditionally considered painful. Combined with a stream of endorphins from sexual activity, hair pulling — if done right — is really hot and pleasurable! When you grab your partner’s hair and yank their follicles, this sends a sensation to the nerve endings that are on the back side of their neck. If you ever had a scalp massage, you know that this feeling is very pleasant!
Though hair pulling is one of the most popular and basic forms of rough play, it is often done poorly and dangerously. Here is a quick guide on how to pull your partner’s hair safely!
But first, Boundaries!
Before pulling anyone's hair, make sure you have discussed this with your partner. Whether you want to pull your partners’ hair, or would like to receive, make sure this has been discussed prior to sexual activity. If it fits both your boundaries, then it’s a go!
Once you’ve established boundaries, gained consent, and feel confident that you can start pulling without causing any harm, there are a few specifics to keep in mind:
Pull from the Base
No matter the length of your partner’s hair, always make sure you are pulling from the base of the head. A great way to do this is to run your hand through your partner’s hair, grasp against the scalp, and pull. Check-in with your partner and see what feels comfortable for them. Another effective way is to have your partner’s hair in a ponytail and pull from the base of the ponytail.
Grabbing from the base is comfortable without causing damage to the scalp or hair. Pulling from the ends can cause tension that is sharp and unfavorable! Make sure when pulling, you avoid straining the neck through hard or jerking pulls.
Grab a lot(!) of Hair
Here, the bed-of-nails-trick applies. If you lay down on a bed with a single nail, then you will have a nail in your back. Lay down on a bed of 250 nails and because of their numbers, they share the pressure causing basically no harm to you. The same goes for pulling: if you pull a single hair, you will pull it out easily. Pull a 1000 hairs and you probably won’t be able to pull them out just as easy.
While this can seem a little more complex, hair is quite the catalyst for amazing bondage. If your partner’s hair is in a ponytail, you can wrap rope or ribbon around the base of the ponytail. You can also use rope to braid it into the hair, using it as a hot leash for your partner. Use this to create pulling motions that feel good for your partner.
With long, luscious hair, there is so much fun to have! Try having your partner braid their hair, and wrap the braid around your hand until your hand meets the base of their head. Perhaps your partner is in godly style or riding, in which you can gently tug the hair.
Run your fingers through shorter hair, getting chunks of your partner’s hair in between your fingers. Closing down around the chunks, lightly tug the hair. This can be very hot in missionary positions and more!
- Always check in with your partner. Are you ok with this, does this feel ok, do you like this? All good questions to ask as you attempt something new that might be a little rougher than what they are used to.
- Go slow. Start with a loose grip and see if your partners breath catches, they make a noise, relax or get tense. You can gauge if they are enjoying it by their reaction and you can adjust your intensity based off of their reaction
- Start gentle, try a light hair pull when kissing your partner or during a scalp massage.
- Be deliberate and constant not jerky. Certainly don’t grab a ponytail and jerk it once hard. Pulling should be done with a constant pull and not a hard jerk to hurt your partner or catch them off guard. We aren’t trying to give anyone whiplash here people!
Pulling hair is all about heightening the senses and creating that super sexy addition to your already fabulous moves. If you haven’t tried pulling hair or having it pulled, grab a fistful of hair and enjoy!